العلاقات الزوجية

Ukuthola Injongo Nenjabulo Futhi Njengomfelwa

UMnu. Harris, umakhelwane wethu onobungane ongumakhelwane, wayeshisa ilanga emgwaqweni wakithi. Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokuzumayo nokubingelela okufudumele, wayema ​​ukuze axoxe ngesimo sezulu noma ngezinhlelo zethu zangempelasonto. Kwabe sekwehla inhlekelele.

Ngolunye usuku ekuseni, izindaba zengozi yemoto zasakazeka endaweni yonke. Kwakungumkakhe, owesifazane okhuthele, owayenothando futhi enakekela. Ukudlula kwakhe emhlabeni kwasishiya sibambe ongezansi.

Kodwa kuMnu. Harris ompofu, umhlaba wahlakazeka. Ubuze obujwayelekile baqala ukungena ekhoneni lomgwaqo esasikade siphila kulo. Sasimbona ehamba ebheke emsebenzini, amahlombe akhe exega, nokucwayiza kungasekho emehlweni akhe. Indoda eyayihlale ikhuthele esontweni, ihola ikhwaya ngokuthakasela, ayizange imamatheke phakathi nezinkonzo. Usizi lwalubonakala, ijazi elisindayo limthandele.

Amasonto aphenduka izinyanga, futhi ukuhlupheka kukaMnu. Harris kwabonakala. Wehla emzimbeni, isimo sakhe sengqondo ngokuphila sashintsha, nentwasahlobo esinyathelweni sakhe yancipha. Lokhu kwakuqhelelene nendoda eyayijabule kakhulu esasiyazi, futhi kwakubuhlungu ukuyibona injalo.

UMnu. Harris wayecwile osizini, indoda eyayijabulise abantu ngempela. Lokhu kungenze ngabona ukuthi asikulungele kangakanani ukulahlekelwa isikhathi esiningi, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ekubhekaneni nempilo sisodwa ngemva kwamashumi eminyaka sishadile.

Sengathi lesi siqeshana singasebenza njengesibani sabantu abasezindaweni ezimnyama ezifanayo, umhlahlandlela wokuthola injongo futhi, kanye nenhlansi yethemba ngisho naphakathi kokuhlupheka.

Ubuhlungu Bokufelwa Umfazi

Ukushonelwa umngane womshado kungenye yezinto ezijulile nezibuhlungu kakhulu ekuphileni. Njengabafelwa, niphonswa ohambweni losizi nokulahlekelwa olungazwakala lukhungathekisa futhi luhlanganisa konke.

Ubuhlungu bokushonelwa unkosikazi omthandayo bushiya uphawu olungacimeki enhliziyweni yakho, lukuphonsele inselelo yokuthi ubheke iqiniso elisha ngaphandle komuntu owake waba umlingani wakho, isifuba sakho, nomngane wakho omkhulu.

Ngokusho kuka-CS Lewis, naye ongumfelokazi: “Akekho owake wangitshela ukuthi usizi lwalufana nokwesaba.” Lawa mazwi, ngiyaqiniseka, angathinta ngokujulile kunoma ubani oye washonelwa ngokujulile umngane womshado. Ngempela usizi lungazizwa lunjengomngane oqhubekayo, lubeka ithunzi ngisho nasezikhathini eziqhakaza kakhulu zokuphila kwakho.

Nokho, phakathi kosizi lwethu, likhona ithemba. Naphezu kobuhlungu, ikhona indlela eya phambili—indlela eholela ekutholeni injongo nenjabulo futhi, ngisho naphakathi kosizi lwakho.

Ukuqonda Usizi Ngelensi YobuKristu

Esosizini lwakho, kubalulekile ukuphendukela enduduzo enikezwa yimiBhalo. IBhayibheli linikeza ukuqonda okujulile ngohlobo losizi nokulahlekelwa, linikeza induduzo nethemba kulabo abalilayo.

IHubo 34:18 lithi: “UJehova useduze kwabadabukileyo enhliziyweni futhi uyabasindisa abanomoya ochobozekile.” La mazwi asikhumbuza ukuthi ngisho nasezikhathini ezinzima kakhulu zokuphelelwa ithemba, uNkulunkulu useduze. Uyabubona ubuhlungu bethu, uyezwa ukukhala kwethu, futhi unikeza uthando Lwakhe olungapheli kanye nesihawu ukuze asisekele. Leli vesi liyasiqinisekisa futhi ukuthi asisodwa osizini lwethu; UNkulunkulu uhamba eceleni kwethu, enikeza induduzo kanye nokwelashwa ezinhliziyweni zethu ezaphukile.

UJesu uqobo wabhekana nosizi olukhulu ekufeni komngane wakhe uLazaru, nakuba ayazi ukuthi wayezomvusa kwabafileyo (Johane 11:35). Usizi alulona uphawu lobuthakathaka kodwa lubonisa ukujula kothando lwethu kanye neqiniso lokulahlekelwa kwethu.

Ukholo lubalulekile futhi ekuhambeni kohambo losizi; kuyasisekela ngezikhathi zobumnyama, kusikhumbuza izithembiso zikaNkulunkulu kanye nokuba khona Kwakhe nathi. Ngomthandazo, ukuzindla ngemiBhalo, nokuhlanganyela namanye amakholwa, uzothola amandla nenduduzo yokubhekana nosuku ngalunye ngethemba nokuqina.

Futhi, ungaduduzeka ngokwazi ukuthi ukudabuka kwakho akukona ukuphela kwendaba. Ngokholo lwethu kuKristu, sinesiqiniseko sempilo yaphakade kanye nesithembiso sokubuyiselwa ekugcineni.

Nakuba ubuhlungu bokushonelwa bungasoze buphele nya, ungathola ithemba ngokwazi ukuthi, ngelinye ilanga, siyohlanganiswa nabathandekayo bethu ebukhoneni bukaNkulunkulu, lapho kungeke kusaba khona izinyembezi noma usizi ( IsAmbulo 21 ) :4).

Ukubhekana Nemizwa Evamile Etholwa Abafelokazi

Usizi: Usizi luwukusabela okungokwemvelo lapho ushonelwe umngane womshado, okuhlanganisa imizwa yokudabuka, ukulangazelela, nokungabi nalutho. Kodwa phendukela kuNkulunkulu ngomthandazo futhi ufune induduzo ezithembisweni Zakhe.

Khumbula ukuthi uNkulunkulu useduze kwabadabukileyo futhi uyabaduduza abalilayo. UMathewu 5:4 uthi, “Babusisiwe abalilayo, ngokuba bayakududuzwa.”

Ukushonelwa umngane womshado ngokuvamile kushiya umuntu ezizwa enesizungu kakhulu. Kungazelelwe, ubungane nokusondelana okwake kwachaza ukuphila kwakho kuyaphela, kushiya isikhala esingase sibonakale singenakunqotshwa. Isizungu singaba sibi nakakhulu lapho uwedwa noma lapho ukhunjuzwa ukuthi umkakho akekho.

Nokho, kungcono kakhulu ukuthola ubungane nokusekelwa phambi kukaNkulunkulu nomphakathi walabo esikholwa nabo. Thembela esithembisweni sokuthi uNkulunkulu akasoze asishiya noma asilahle. EyamaHeberu 13:5 iyasikhumbuza: “Angisoze ngakushiya, noma ngikulahle.”

Ukudideka: Ukulahlekelwa umngane womshado nakho kungashiya umuzwa othile edidekile futhi edidekile, engaqiniseki ukuthi angalithola kanjani leli qiniso elisha. Singase sizithole sibhekene nemibuzo ekhona mayelana nenjongo yokuphila nenjongo yokuhlupheka kwethu.

Kumuntu osanda kushonelwa umkakhe, ukudideka kungavela ezinseleleni ezingokoqobo zokuzivumelanisa nokuphila ngaphandle kwakhe, njengokuphatha imithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya noma ukwenza izinqumo ezibalulekile uwedwa. Ezikhathini zokudideka, kuyasiza ukufuna ukucaciseleka nesiqondiso ngomthandazo nokuzindla ngeZwi likaNkulunkulu nesithembiso sakhe sokuqondisa izindlela zethu ( IzAga 3:5-6 ).

Intukuthelo: Ungase uzizwe ukhungathekile noma uthukuthelele uNkulunkulu, abanye, noma wena ngokwakho. Ungase futhi ube nemizwa yokucasukela izimo zakho noma unkosikazi wakho ongasekho ngokukushiya ngemuva.

Vuma futhi ucubungule le mizwa yentukuthelo ngezindlela ezinempilo kunokuyicindezela noma ukuyiphika.

Nokho, kufanele ulwele ukuveza imizwa yakho ngokwethembeka nangokukhululekile kuNkulunkulu ngomthandazo, wazi ukuthi angakwazi ukuyibamba intukuthelo yakho. Funa ukuthula Kwakhe futhi uhlakulele inhliziyo yozwelo nothando.

Kwabase-Efesu 4:31-32 kuyasikhumbuza: “Makususwe kini konke ukufutheka, nolaka, nentukuthelo, nomsindo, nokuhlambalaza, kanye nobubi bonke; , njengoba nje noNkulunkulu wanithethelela ngenxa kaKristu.”

Ukwesaba: Ukulahlekelwa umngane womshado kungavusa imizwa yokwesaba nokukhathazeka ngekusasa—ukwesaba ukuba wedwa, ukubhekana nezinselele zempilo ngaphandle komlingani wakho, noma ukuthi ikusasa limphatheleni izingane zakho.

Nokho, thembela ekuphatheni nasekubuseni kukaNkulunkulu ngoba nguye olawula zonke izinto. Ngokunikela ukwesaba kwakho kuNkulunkulu ngomthandazo nangokufuna isiqondiso nesivikelo Sakhe, ungathola isibindi nokuthula ukuze ubhekane nokungaziwa ngokuqiniseka.

Ukuthola kabusha Injabulo Ezikhathini Zansuku Zonke

Nakuba ngokuvamile injabulo ixhomeke ezimweni zangaphandle kanye nezikhathi zokuzijabulisa ezidlulayo, injabulo ijulile futhi ihlala njalo. Injabulo iwumuzwa ongokomoya wokwaneliseka nokwaneliseka okudlula izikhathi ezinhle nezimbi zokuphila. Kuyisimo sokugxiliswa okholweni nasekubongeni kunokugxiliswa ezinjabulweni zesikhashana noma izinto ezibonakalayo.

Esimweni sosizi, ukuthola kabusha injabulo akusho ukuthi uyohlale ujabule noma ukuthi ubuhlungu bakho buzophela ngokuphazima kweso. Kunalokho, kusho ukuthola izikhathi zokuthula, ithemba, nokuxhumana phakathi kosizi. Kusho ukuqaphela ubuhle nobuhle obusekhona emhlabeni, ngisho naphakathi kosizi lwakho.

Omunye umbono oyiphutha ovamile ngenjabulo ngemva kokushonelwa umngane womshado ukuthi ngandlela-thile kuwukungahloniphi inkumbulo yabathandekayo bethu. Abanye bangase bazizwe benecala ngenxa yezikhathi zenjabulo, besaba ukuthi kunciphisa ukubaluleka kokulahlekelwa kwabo noma kusho ukuthi badlulele phambili ngokushesha.

Nokho, injabulo nosizi akuzona kuphela. Kungenzeka ukuhlonipha inkumbulo yomlingani wethu ngenkathi sithola izikhathi zenjabulo ezimpilweni zethu.

Omunye umbono oyiphutha uwukuthi injabulo ingatholakala kuphela ezenzweni ezinkulu noma ekuhlangenwe nakho okungavamile. Eqinisweni, injabulo ivame ukuvela ezikhathini ezilula—ukudla okuhlanganyelwe nabathandekayo, ukuhambahamba emvelweni, noma umzuzu othule wokuzindla.

Ngokwamukela lezi zikhathi zansuku zonke kanye nokuthola ukubonga ezintweni ezincane, singahlakulela umuzwa ojulile wenjabulo osisekela ezikhathini ezimnyama kakhulu.

Ekugcineni, ukuthola kabusha injabulo ngemva kokushonelwa umngane womshado kuwuhambo—oludinga isineke, ukuqina, nokholo. Kusho ukuzivumela ukuba uzwe imizwa eyahlukene, okuhlanganisa ukudabuka nosizi, kuyilapho uhlale uvulekele izikhathi zenjabulo nethemba.

Njengoba iHubo 30:5 lisikhumbuza, “Isililo singahlala ubusuku bonke, kepha ekuseni ukuthokoza kuyeza. Ngisho nasezikhathini zakho ezimnyama kakhulu, kuhlale kunesithembiso senjabulo emkhathizwe, esilindele ukuphinde kutholwe ezikhathini zansuku zonke zokuphila.

Ungayivuselela Kanjani Injabulo Empilweni Yakho Yansuku zonke

1. Hlanganyela Emisebenzini Enenjongo: Ukuthola injabulo ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke ngokuvamile kuhilela ukuhlanganyela emisebenzini eletha ukwaneliseka nenjongo. Noma ngabe ngokuvolontiya ngesizathu osithandayo, ukuphishekela umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa noma indawo yokudala, noma ukuchitha isikhathi emvelweni, ukutshala isikhathi namandla akho emisebenzini ezuzisayo kungaphakamisa umoya wakho futhi kukulethe umuzwa wokwaneliseka.

Le misebenzi ihlinzeka ngokuphazamiseka okwamukelekayo osizini futhi inikeza amathuba okukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokuxhumana nabanye.

2. Xhumana Nabanye Emphakathini Nasebudlelwaneni: Umphakathi kanye nobudlelwane budlala indima ebalulekile ekuhlakuleleni injabulo ngemva kokushonelwa umngane womshado. Ukuzungeza abangane abakusekelayo, amalungu omkhaya, nokholwa nabo kungakunikeza umuzwa wokuhlanganyela nobudlelwane phakathi nalezi zikhathi ezinzima.

Ukuthi ngokujoyina iqembu elisekela abafelokazi, ukubamba iqhaza emisebenzini yesonto, noma ngokumane uchithe isikhathi nabathandekayo, ukuxhumana nabanye abaluqondayo uhambo lwakho kungaletha induduzo, uhleko, nomuzwa ovuselelwe wethemba.

3. Tshala Ezintweni Ozithandayo Nazishiseka Ngazo. Ukuthola kabusha injabulo kuhlanganisa nokutshala imali emisebenzini nasezintshisakalweni ezikulethela injabulo. Ukubeka phambili ukuzinakekela nokuziveza kubalulekile ukuze ugcine ukuphila kahle ngokomzwelo.

Ngokunikela isikhathi namandla ezintweni ezikulethela injabulo, ungakwazi ukondla umphefumulo wakho futhi uhlakulele umuzwa wenjongo nokwaneliseka ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke.

4. Bonga: Zinike isikhathi usuku ngalunye lokuzindla ngezibusiso zikaNkulunkulu ekuphileni kwakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zincane kangakanani noma zibonakala zincane kangakanani. Gcina ijenali yokubonga lapho ubhala khona phansi izinto obonga ngazo nsuku zonke. Lokhu kuzosiza ukususa ukugxila kwakho kulokho okulahlekile kuye kulokho osenakho.

Ngokuba nesimo sengqondo sokubonga, ungahlakulela umuzwa wokwaneliseka nenjabulo engaphezu kwezimo zakho.

5. Yamukela Izikhathi Zobuhle Nezimangaliso: Ezikhathini zakho zosizi, hlala uvulekele izikhathi zobuhle nezimangaliso emhlabeni okuzungezile.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ngokubuka ukuphuma kwelanga, ngokuncoma umsebenzi wobuciko, noma ukujabulela ukudla okumnandi, ukuzivumela ukuba ube nezikhathi zenjabulo nokwesaba kungaphakamisa umoya wakho futhi kukukhumbuze ubuhle obusekhona emhlabeni.

Kuwo wonke umfelokazi okungenzeka ukuthi udonsa kanzima, ngifuna wazi ukuthi awuwedwa. Phakathi kobuhlungu nosizi lwakho, likhona ithemba. Nakuba indlela ingase ibonakale iyinde futhi umthwalo unzima, unamandla ngoKristu okukhuthazela.

Thola induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyazibona izinyembezi zakho, uyayizwa imithandazo yakho, futhi ukusondeza enhliziyweni Yakhe. Ncika kuNkulunkulu ezikhathini zobuthakathaka bakho, ngokuba uyisiphephelo sakho namandla akho, ulusizo olukhona impela ekuhluphekeni (AmaHubo 46:1).

Kwangathi ungathola ukuthula phakathi kobuhlungu bakho, amandla phakathi kobuthakathaka bakho, nethemba phakathi kokuphelelwa ithemba kwakho. Uyathandwa, waziswa, futhi awuwedwa.

Ikhredithi Yesithombe: ©Getty Images/OSTILL

Emmanuel Abimbola ungumbhali ozimele, i-blogger, kanye nomklami wewebhu. UngumKristu ozinikele onokholo olungaguquki odabuka eSifundazweni Sase-Ondo eNigeria, eNtshonalanga Afrika. Njengomthandi wezingane, u-Emmanuel uqhuba isikole esincane samabanga aphansi e-Arigidi, eNigeria.




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